Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Absolutely no peeing in or around the hydrangeas!

Yesterday, I mentioned that I got my property tax bill for the year and that the school portion of it was a little high for my taste. $919.02 too high to be exact.

Let me just say that I realize there are people out there paying way more than that for schools and school taxes and whatnot. My friend in PA told me she pays $5500 for her kids who aren't even in school yet. That's in addition to the $1000 day care bill she has.

I am sending my friend whiskey and cupcakes to ease her financial stress and make everything better.
If you are having similar woes, I will also send you whiskey and cupcakes.

Anythatsthekindoffriendiam, I am still perturbed about this high tax bill. I think that MB can sum it up best. This is his reply to a friend in defense of our bitching about the tax bill:
" wouldn't be saying that if you saw the school district that this money goes to. These kids don't have textbooks for gods sake, so the question needs to be asked...where the hell does the money go to? And how the hell can a responsible government raise taxes when incomes are down across the board? The problem is not the money, thats just a symptom. The problem is the government is so out of touch on every level, that it's not even funny anymore." - From the mouth of MB

He's so smart. And really handsome. He's pretty much the whole package. If he carried cupcakes and whiskey around...

Anyagirlcandreamcantshe, I've decided that I'm going to make the neighborhood delinquents earn their $919.02. Why do they deserve to earn it, you might ask? Well, go here and you'll get the idea.
That's just one example of their jackassery.

So, here is what I will be expecting of them in order to make up for the $919.02 I am forking over for their education:
*the ability to solve word problems at a moment's notice.
*regular cutting of my grass.
*regular trimming of my weeds.
*the ability to identify verbs in the random sentences I will be shouting out.
*absolutely no peeing in or around my yard.
*absolutely no 'fishing' in the fish pond.
*the ability to spell words like oleaginous (it means oily) without asking for country of origin.
*regular cleaning out of my car and Jeep.
*absolutely no cats in my yard at any time.
*no knocking on my door or stalking me as soon as I pull in the driveway to ask if you can feed the fish or pet the dog.
*identify the capital of whatever city I shout out as I shout it out.
*absolutely no running through my yard or jumping my fence, I don't care who's chasing you with a watergun.

I don't see any down side to this plan.


  1. Don't forget math and science puzzles. Always my own weakness. Maybe keep some flash cards in the jeep and pull one on 'em as soon as they approach. This would work best for me since the answers are on the back.

  2. Thanks for always leaving me such wonderfully nice comments on my blog! =) You are one of my very favorite blog authors, by the way!

    I think you should also make these kids rake your leaves in the fall. And shovel your snow... you know, just keep them working all year long, haha. =)


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