tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43529528084214445942024-03-14T14:26:15.828-04:00Girly BitzRandom rantings from a not so girly girl trying to protect her sensitive bitz from the harsh, cruel world.Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.comBlogger347125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-75029563910974572922018-01-01T16:37:00.002-05:002018-01-01T16:37:25.784-05:00Promises, promises As I welcome the new year, I am taking a thorough inventory of my life. I am carefully examining the relationships I have, the joys I find and the challenges I face. In doing this. I realize there are a lot of things I want for myself. These are not so much resolutions as they are promises. I have neglected myself for too long, believing I was not worthyGabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-49036698532711495892015-06-09T11:28:00.004-04:002015-06-09T11:28:37.272-04:00The Epic Commute. You start out on your commute and things are fine. The guy on your right tries to cut you off, but you stand firm. The lady behind you seems to want to be in your back seat so you slow down a little. The usual.
Then, you glance over to your left and you see it. That little spot on the windshield. A freakin Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-15173676738052925772014-03-19T10:43:00.004-04:002014-03-19T10:43:57.907-04:00Extreme Makeover: Unstable Edition It's never a good thing when you see a wet spot on the ceiling. It's even worse when you see a wet spot on the ceiling after having just spent money you didn't have on a new roof you didn't know you needed. It's way worse when you hardly know the guy and he still makes you sleep...oh, wait.
Let's just refer to them as water spots to avoid any Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-21069316339906528532014-03-13T19:06:00.003-04:002014-03-13T19:25:43.393-04:00The Story of a Dress. When I first got engaged, I spent months scouring bridal magazines for the perfect dress. I had absolutely no idea what a sweetheart neckline was or how taffeta was different from satin. I was doomed.
In my quest for the dress, I discovered what I thought was 'the one' online. It was an ivory strapless gown with minimal foof and a Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-78932370993250319702014-03-01T17:30:00.001-05:002014-03-01T17:30:23.611-05:00I got nothing. I don't have anything nice to say right now.
Shocking, right?
I'm feeling pretty miserable at the moment and I just want to put on my fuzzy pajamas, curl up with my stinky hounds and hibernate until whatever evil is in the air finally dissipates so I can breathe again. Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-9729228160010350542014-02-17T17:52:00.000-05:002014-02-17T17:52:13.309-05:00MB will be a very busy man. A friend and I were discussing ice dancing, as friends do in the time of the Olympics. Naturally, the conversation turned to curling. In sharing my only knowledge of the Olympic events (as I have not watched any of it thus far), I told her another friend had commented on the hotness of the women of curling.
She reminded me thatGabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-80124094582551684602014-02-16T12:17:00.001-05:002014-02-16T12:33:47.542-05:00Sunday Stream of RandomnessI would have titled this post 'Sunday Stream of Consciousness' if it didn't cause such horrible flashbacks of the time I read American Psycho. That was an awful read. Shame. I really like Huey Lewis.
It is very challenging to respect your elders when your elders choose to take advantage of your respect so they can satisfy their own needs at your expense. CaseGabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-73809959179784262132014-02-15T13:52:00.003-05:002014-02-15T13:52:48.666-05:00Ahem...Hi. My name is Shari and it's been 6 months since my last post.
It's been a long time, but I think I'm ready to welcome the blogginess into my life once again. I don't really have an excuse for being away for so long. I didn't lose any limbs in a Hunger Games-esque battle for cupcakes, surprisingly. I haven't suffered a brain injury from an alcohol related fall, Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-29703388958566597102013-07-29T23:14:00.002-04:002013-07-29T23:14:57.098-04:00Outsmarted. Again. So, I had a discussion with MB recently about the spider infestation in our home and he actually agreed that it was a problem.
I know!
For those of you who are new to the Bitz, I'll give you the low down. We have a spider infestation and I have severe, SEVERE arachnophobia. It makes me do very bizarre things like this. You should totally go read that and then decide ifGabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-71365361263899303372013-06-08T09:18:00.000-04:002013-06-08T10:46:40.820-04:00Fire. I really don't feel like talking about myself today, so I'm going to just make something up. Don't worry. I have a topic, courtesy of The One Minute Writer. Let's see if I can stick to the one minute time limit. I am a pretty fast typist.
Here we go...
Fire
The smoke began to fill the room as she sat on the couch, mesmerized at what she had done. She had noGabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-82649871555147186092013-06-02T06:57:00.000-04:002013-06-08T09:45:00.081-04:00Rude awakenings, tight packages and I may just blow your mind. It was 4:48am when I was rudely awoken from my slumber by the fat dog. He climbed over me, rather clumsily, before jumping to the floor where he proceeded to vomit in the corner.
Well, good morning to you too.
After a rather futile attempt to return to dreamland, where I was involved in some sort of fight for survival with what may have been a Mexican drug cartel, I decided Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-13001889377426789952013-04-10T12:32:00.000-04:002013-06-08T09:45:18.128-04:00The glamorous life. There are times when I wonder where things went horribly wrong in my life.
Here's what happened...
I had a pretty good day at work. There was a minimal amount of drama, considering some of the drama queens that I work with. That's always a good thing. It was absolutely gorgeous outside and I spent all day, itching to get out and enjoy the sunshine.
When I got Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-20820957038611089792013-04-07T16:41:00.001-04:002013-06-08T09:42:27.172-04:00Feverishly funny. Yesterday, my dear MB was stricken with the sickness, and I am considering some level of quarantine. I have to protect myself, people.
The onset of said sickness occured mere moments after he consumed the delicious smoothie I had made for our breakfast. It consisted of 1 fresh banana, 2 cups of ice, 2 Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-11304809681088446162013-01-05T17:15:00.000-05:002013-06-08T09:43:01.839-04:00Giving So, I've been thinking a lot about resolutions and changes and starting over and whatnot. I suppose that's what most people think about at the beginning of a new year, especially if they've been in a rut like me.
I've been feeling like I need a change for some time now. Of course, I'd love to win the powerball and experience the change of not having to worry about money. Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-15046343082931698722013-01-02T19:07:00.003-05:002013-06-08T09:43:58.134-04:00What is that smell? Did something die in here? Do you have any idea how much the hoof of an antelope stinks?
It's like a combination of feet (duh), armpits and rotten eggs. Throw in a little expired milk (the lumpy kind of expired) and you've got it.
As a little girl, dreaming about my future life, I never once imagined that I would be able to describe the stench of an antelope hoof. It just wasn't in the script Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-29379886267782268672012-12-09T09:02:00.000-05:002013-06-08T09:44:34.672-04:00Meaty infections and the coining of new phrases. It seems that one consequence of neglecting your blog is that you end up with all sorts of spam in your Bitz. It's like a yeast infection, but with fake meat. I would imagine it's much stinkier and would attract more wild animals to your loins.
Since I have absolutely no idea how to stop these little assholes from infecting my bitz with their meat (giggity, but also ick...Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-71928301903362876922012-10-13T11:28:00.001-04:002013-06-08T09:46:24.890-04:00I just threw up a little.
So, I finally read Fifty Shades of Grey, because I am so current and all.
I hated it. It may be the worst book I've ever read, even though I couldn't stop reading it. It's like I had to finish it, just so it could be over and I could move on with my life. Plus, I really wanted to see what all the hype was about since so many people are so madly in love with this book.
Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-15016636974702904672012-09-02T01:00:00.002-04:002013-06-08T09:47:01.868-04:00Ugh. I'd like to announce the collapse of civilized society as we know it. As of 11:55pm, all hope is lost. There is nothing to strive for anymore.
I followed a young, seemingly sane and capable woman into the grocery store. She was wearing...a nightgown. Yes, a nightgown.
I guess I should commend her for at least putting on sandals with her outfit. Maybe Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-13701150090578425132012-08-28T11:08:00.000-04:002013-06-08T09:48:05.695-04:00Pepper spray, breast tenderness and oreos...yummmm, oreos. So, TOM has stopped by for a visit. That's always fun.
In an effort to be better prepared for his visit and to avoid any potential hormonal homicidal rage, I went to the drug store to get TOM supplies.
Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. Midol.
It's a freakin lifesaver. For me, anyway.
Of course, I am a total cheapskate so I end up getting Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-21073180738289151892012-08-28T10:42:00.000-04:002013-06-08T09:48:26.802-04:00Happy Belated Birthday Atticus.
One year ago last week, this fat little bastard entered the world.
Yes, I'm kinda late in posting this. Stop with the judging please.
My little Atticus.
The first time I met him, he was just a little ball of fat and fluff.
He was the biggest puppy in the litter and he was just sitting in the corner of the pen, not making a peep, watching all his Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-64195102020498921482012-08-19T11:24:00.001-04:002013-06-08T09:48:55.797-04:00Missing (possibly eaten): Fat puppy who doesn't come at all when you call so don't bother.
So, I was in my bathroom this morning getting ready for work and I had an eerie feeling.
It was like something was watching me.
I shook it off and continued to tweeze, my face pressed up against the mirror because I am completely blind without my glasses on.
There it was again, that feeling. Something is definitely watching me.
Where is the dog?&Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-22075046872898872392012-08-06T10:50:00.001-04:002013-06-08T09:49:51.552-04:00Let the annihilation begin!Turning the long empty guest room into my new pantry is proving more difficult than I realized. Apparently, the spiders have decided to claim it as their own.
I knew there would be some spiders in there. The room has been empty for several months now and these things happen. I had no idea it had reached infestation level so quickly though.
My attempt to attack the Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-62910867402233233202012-08-06T00:53:00.000-04:002013-06-08T09:50:15.270-04:00Monsoon Safety 101 or How Flash Mobs Can be Hazardous.So, it's raining buckets here. Literal buckets of rain are falling from the sky. It's like all of the water is just being dumped right on us...by the bucketful.
Do you get that it's raining a lot?
It is.
As I leave work tonight at 11:30pm, it starts to pour. My windshield wipers are on high. My hands are glued to the steering wheel in the ten Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-88200418335581807732012-07-28T17:09:00.001-04:002013-06-08T09:53:49.789-04:00Life is meaningless without tickles and cupcakes.This morning, my dear husband informed me that I could not exit my neighborhood via the Rt 72 entrance.
I nodded in his general direction and mumbled a 'yeah, why?' as I am generally not interested in the affairs of traffic. Also, I may have been engrossed in something involving dog antics on the internet.
You are just not allowed to exit Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4352952808421444594.post-75125587744844779262012-07-21T10:48:00.001-04:002013-06-08T09:54:35.279-04:00I always wanted a guard dog.
So, I agreed to dog sit this weekend, because I'm an idiot.
A friend of ours has two dogs, Cassie and Baylen (sp?). They needed a place to camp out because he is going away for the weekend. I agreed to be that place because I can't say no to dogs.
We had a meet and greet on Thursday night. My little devil dog, Atticus got to meet Cassie and Baylen to see Gabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17831284271466430916noreply@blogger.com0