MB is working his 24 hour shift so I am left all alone to fend for myself.
Don't worry though. My guard dog is on high alert.
She may not attack in the traditional way, by waking up and acknowledging your presence before biting your face off.
She has more subtle tactics.
She attacks with odor.
The noxious odor of gas emanating from her butt.
I've been subjected to it for the past couple hours. I wonder if she realizes I am not a burglar.
Maybe she is just emanating random attack farts to ward off any potential danger before it happens.
She could just be an evil genius.
Or just a very lazy dog who ate got into the trash.
I'm going with the evil genius attack dog theory because it will help me sleep tonight.