Thursday, January 27, 2011

If I only had a knife.

So, I got approximately 1 hour sleep last night. As you may be aware, I spent the night at work due to the weather and my inability to get home without dying in a snowbank somewhere.

My pup also spent the night with me because I couldn't leave her home alone for 16hours. It's inhumane.

I'll spare you the details, but I basically slept (tried to) in a crappy office chair, gave up due to back discomfort of doom, relocated to the apparently concrete floor, slept in a freezing cold room next to a farting pup, trying not to move at all for fear of awakening said farting pup and having to walk her in the snowpacolypse for the 700th time that night.


When I left at 7am to return home and curl up in bed, I was greeted with the task of shoveling my driveway which was knee deep in snow with a lovely 2 foot pile of the plow truck's droppings in front.

If I could've just left my car parked in the middle of the street and gone to bed, I totally would have. Judgey neighbors and their self righteous know it all smirks prevented me from doing that.

So, I found myself trying to shovel through the 2 foot pile of snow sh*t in order to just get my freakin car out of the middle of the street. Once I accomplished that, I then had to shovel enough room for MB to park the jeep when he got home so the neighbors wouldn't be all judgey with him.


Sleep deprivation and physical labor do not mix. Sleep deprivation and hunger do not mix. Sleep deprivation and back pain of doom do not mix. Sleep deprivation and lack of showering do not mix. Combine all of these things with social interaction and you get the perfect storm for a stabbing.

I'm pretty sure I yelled at my neighbor's kids the fourth time they asked if they could shovel for me. What I really wanted to do was collapse on the couch while they did all the work for me. However, I am unofficially feuding with them and therefore trying to keep my distance.

I also think I accidentally mocked my other neighbor for working in a grocery store. It's kinda okay because I don't like the cat hoarding bastard. It's kinda not okay because he was actually just making pleasant conversation with me for the first time in the 4 years we have been neighbors.

I redeemed myself with the kid because when he came knocking on my door while I was 'on break' and asked again if he could help, I gave in. Then I had to end my break and shovel with him or else it would've been child labor. Or something. I gave him $5.

Of course, that broke my unofficial feud and the accompanying distancing. He interpreted this as being able to jump my fence with his entire family and run through my yard later that afternoon. I think they were looking for their dog who had also jumped the fence. I don't really care.

Boundaries were crossed. I want my $5 back.

I also need to find a new grocery store or wear a disguise when I shop there now that I know the cat hoarder works there.

Sleep deprivation has pretty much ruined my life.



  1. Awwww...farting pup was just trying to keep you warm :)

    Sucky, sucky day. So sorry.

  2. Sleep deprivation is an ucker-fay.

  3. You need to take up knife throwing. That way you can stab from a distance.
    Sure hope today is better for you.
    Stay warm!


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