Saturday, November 13, 2010

I think we failed the initiation.

So, we were running last night and we almost got stabbed and dumped in a ditch somewhere while our thumbs were mailed to our mothers.

That's what happens to you if you get killed by a gang member, right?

I could me mistaken.

So, MB and I are doing our cool down walk home after running around the neighborhood when a car passes by us. Slowly.

MB looks at the driver as he passes and says "That guy is AB - negative*."

*That isn't what he actually said because as talented as MB is, he can not actually identify someone's blood type just by looking at them. Although, that would be a really cool superpower - with very practical applications.
What he actually said was the name of a gang. For the sake of my mother not receiving my thumbs in the mail along with her Christmas card, I'm using this name in lieu of the actual gang name.
In the off chance that gang members are reading Girly Bitz.

Moving on...

MB says this with confidence because he has the pleasure of dealing with a wide variety of gangs in his role as Paramedic Extraordinaire**.

**That's what I'm going to name him when he decides to develop his blood type identification powers and become a superhero. I may have to shorten it a little so it'll fit on his leotard though.

Moving on once again...

He definitely knows how to identify the members of various gangs, which is pretty scary. I try not to think about that aspect of his job. It's bad enough that he runs into burning buildings.

After MB tells me this, of course, I turn around to look. Because I am nothing if not discreet. And street savvy.

Me: (way too loudly) "Really? AB - negative? How can you tell?"

The car that is already moving slowly hits it's brakes. As I see the brake lights come on, MB says "Oh sh*t" and grabs my arm.

We are rounding the corner to our home and they say most gang murders/thumb removals occur within a mile of your home. I think that's the statistic.

I could be mistaken.

The AB - negative member has now pulled over to the curb as we are walking faster and faster. It's amazing what the threat of a good knife slashing will do to increase your cardio level.

MB is looking back the entire time to make sure we don't get jumped. He is also very street savvy and not at all obvious.

Thankfully, we made it to the front door without incident.

I can't account for the residents of the house Mr. AB - negative was parked in front of though. Hopefully their digits are still intact.

I think MB and I are going to modify our running route a little.

Especially if MB decides to pursue this superhero thing and starts running in his leotard. I would imagine gang members would target leotard wearers harshly. Just because.


  1. AH MAH GAH. D: Does Mr. AB - negative know where you live now?!? MOOOOOOOVE! You're too pretty to die!

  2. oh i love this. my fiance is a firefighter/emt in DC and i have heard some gang stories. baby ms13 members in the back of the abulance and thugs in cars chasing/shooting the childrens hospital truck.

    oh yea. i loooove it when he goes to work.

  3. Okay, are you SURE you are not dead? It has been 3 days and we are all wondering if the gang came back for you!?!?!

    Really though, just wanted to say hi! It sounds like you are doing well, gang run-ins aside. =)


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