Saturday, November 6, 2010

At least they weren't shopping in pajamas.

Sometimes my smart ideas turn out to be not so smart.

For example, my decision to go to the grocery store at 7:30pm on a Saturday night so as to avoid the mass of shoppers on a Sunday morning.

Seems pretty smart, right?

Not so smart.

It looks promising as I pull in and find that I can snag a prime parking spot right next to the grocery carts. Woohoo.

It looks even more promising as I enter the store and notice that the produce section is pleasantly empty. Yay!

I make my way through the seafood section and that's when things start to go sour.

There are 2 girls and a boy wrestling in the floor. That's right. Wrestling in the floor.

Where are the parents, you ask?

I wondered that myself.

Nowhere in sight.

I give the kids the evil eye as I step over the boy who is lying on the floor being mercilessly tickled by his sister.


As I make my way to the meats, things get worse.

I am searching for beef stew cubes when I see two ladies standing right where I need to be.

No problem. I'm patient.

I stand and wait for them to finish as their son is sitting on the meat case just beside them.

That's right. Sitting on the meat case.

He makes eye contact with me and can clearly see that I need to get where and the ladies who are not supervising him at all currently are.

What does he do?

He crosses his arms and scooches himself back further onto the meat case.


Excuse me, chubster (I wouldn't have mentioned his weight if he wasn't such an asshole) can you kindly get your rude little fat ass off of the beef products?

Oh no. That would be too much like the right thing to do.

All bets are off at this point.

I push my way to the other side of the ladies and shove my way up to the beef cubes.

Oh, I'm sorry maam. Did I just elbow you to the face? Oops. I just assumed you wouldn't mind me shoving my way in here since you and your family clearly have no concept of proper grocery store etiquette.

Oh, your nose is bleeding? Maybe you should sit down next to your son and rest for a second. If it doesn't stop soon, I think the tissues are in aisle 12.


The rest of the trip is fairly uneventful aside from my random mutterings at those jackasses who would rather stare me down as I'm cornered against the canned peas than make any effort to move aside and let me pass.

Of course, when I get home, I find that my roaster chicken has leaked and my canvas bag is now soaked with chicken juice.


Then, I drop my canned peaches exactly 4 times before being able to get them safely to the counter and put them away.

I'm now in my pajamas and I honestly don't care what is leaking or dented or covered in chicken juice.

I should've just continued my day of napping on the couch with MB instead of try to accomplish anything.

Next time I'll know better.

How about you guys? Any interesting grocery store encounters to share?


  1. Hahaha, yep. I usually try to head to the grocery store on Saturday night. I have tried other nights, but Saturday works best for me. My most recent visit was uneventful, but the family with 5 children two weeks ago was a joy to behold (or an evil that is burned forever in my brain). Screaming, fighting, one very tired looking mother, smashing bread (yep, smashing bread) and me running away as quickly as possible.

    Hope you are feeling better.

  2. Chicken juice! GAAAAAAH! #chibikryptonite

  3. oh, I can see this happening. I dont'know what it is about grocery stores...
    I always go way early before anyone else can get out of their pajamas.


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