Thursday, October 28, 2010

High waders and personal overshares.

So, I've been sporting high waders all day today but not for fashion reasons.

My day started out like this: 'Oh dear. Why is there water on the kitchen floor again? I thought I cleaned that up last night. Where on earth could it be coming from?'

Just a little tip - if you start the day asking yourself that question or any similar question, just run to the nearest bar and don't look back.

I had cleaned up a wet kitchen floor last night, thinking it was from my dishwasher or something. When I awoke to find more water everywhere, I actually had to investigate and find out what was going on.

So, I called my Dad.

He said it could be the drip tray under the fridge.

Cool. Easy enough. Drip tray. Just pull it out, empty it and put it back under the drain.

No problem.

Except that I couldn't get the drip tray out because I couldn't get the water filter out and that is blocking the drip tray.

Minor snag.

I pulled the fridge out thinking I could get to the drip tray from the back instead.

That's when I notice the water spraying from some tube that connects to the back of my fridge.


I text MB.

He is teaching a class of firefighter recruits and is not really able to help.

I decide to try and fix the problem myself. It can't be that hard. I just have to find the duct tape.

Duct tape doesn't work because the leak is too strong.


Okay. What would my Dad do? He's like a hillbilly genius who can fix anything with anything.

Chewing gum? No.

Super glue? No.

I know! Why don't I cut the hose just above the leak and then reattach it to the other part? That is a super smart plan.

I cut the hose. Even more water sprays out all over my kitchen.

I try to reattach it but it doesn't fit into the little thingy like it's supposed to. I take the box cutter and the tweezers and try to make it fit by cutting the little thingy.

I end up stabbing myself in the thumb. Thank God for the duct tape or I would've bled all over my repair job.

Okay. My plan is not working. At all.

I make a trip to Lowe's to get a new hose. After shutting off the water to the hose so it doesn't keep spraying all over my kitchen.

I warn the pup to not touch a single thing while I am gone. This is futile because when I come back, whatever mystery items under the fridge that may or may not have been food were gone.

I guess they were food.

So, I've got the part I need and I get to work. I go downstairs where the pipes are and unhook the one valve so I can put the new valve on.

Big mistake.

Water gushing everywhere! Everywhere!

Holy sh*t!

I run next door and grab my neighbor. He is super nice and comes over to help me, not knowing that he is about to be soaked.

He's trying to fix the valve and getting drenched by gushing water while I am frantically trying to find the main water line shut off valve.

This includes me calling MB and telling him that I need to know how to shut the water off RIGHT NOW! He then repeats this out loud to his class of firefighter recruits who proceed to laugh hysterically.

That call doesn't end well.

After more frantic phone calls and about 20 minutes, I find the valve and shut the water off.

Of course, we are standing in ankle deep water in my basement now.


My soaking wet neighbor then proceeds to spend the day helping me fix the hose line because he is super nice.

Of course, the first hose line doesn't fit. The second one is missing a piece. The third one has the right piece but we drop it and lose it in the flood waters. The fourth one is the one.

I sneak in my house and attach it myself because I have a feeling that the piece we lost is not the piece we need. I feel like the rubber piece I told him to use in the first place is the piece we need.

However, he isn't going to listen to me after I was stupid enough to start this project without shutting off the main water line and then even stupider because I didn't know where the main shut off valve even was.

I see where he's coming from. That's why I didn't push the issue about the rubber piece.

I just covertly put the rubber piece in, attach the valve and turn the water on to find that I was right all along about the rubber piece.

Moving day was spent running back and forth to the hardware store and then sloshing around in my basement while my nice neighbor overshared about his life as I watched him fix my hose thingy.

I would love to tell you about his overshare, but I just can't do it. Once someone subjects themselves to gushing water and commits to helping you fix said gushing water all day, you owe them their privacy.

Trust me, though. It's a doozy!

Anywaytoomuchinformation, my evening was spent sopping up water with a rented shop vac and crying because some of MB's very personal keepsakes had gotten broken during the catastrophe.

He said I was crying so I wouldn't be mad at him.


It's now almost 11pm. I've been in and out of the spider cubby. I've been sloshing around in yucky spidery water. I've been in and out of various hardware stores trying not to have a nervous breakdown. I've sopped up just about as much water as I can for the night.

It's time for me to shower away the wetness and stress of my day and crash on the couch until the clean up resumes tomorrow.

Oh joy.

So, how was your day?


  1. Dude, you totally owe your awesome neighbor a big pan of cookies. And cake. And a bottle of wine. That was SO nice of him to help you out like that. it's nice to know that nice people still exist in the world!

  2. Home ownership is SWELL, isn't it? pppbbblllttt

    Sorry, love. Glad the neighbour pitched in (and kick MB in the shin for making it a joke to the class - GOSH!).



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