Friday, September 3, 2010

Friday Flip Offs: Unibrow edition.

It's that time of the week again. Time to start flipping people off.
I really need this today.
My stress level has been all over the place today. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Poor MB.
He's been trying to get me to relax, but it just isn't working. Once I get myself all stressed out, I just can't snap out of it.
Hopefully this virtual release will relieve some of the tension. I don't have any cupcakes in the house. This has to work!
Wanna play along?
Go here to visit MommaKiss, who is hosting FFO's for Gigi, and join in.

Without further ado, the Flippes are...

To the clerk at the grocery store who couldn't be bothered to turn away from his conversation with two other cashiers who were hanging out beside his bags (not bagging, btw, just hanging out) while checking me out...FLIP OFF!
Seriously? What ever happened to customer service?
When a customer comes into your line, you acknowledge them, jackass. I'm not asking you to give me your life story or anything, just say 'hi'.
Let me know that you know that I am there.

To the same clerk who apparently doesn't understand how to bag groceries...FLIP OFF again!
For future reference, 3 boxes of Pop Secret popcorn really shouldn't be crammed on top of London Broil.
I prefer my meat unsmooshed.
Maybe if your conversation hadn't been so important, you could've taken a little more interest in bagging my items.
There's a system buddy.

Again to the same clerk who really managed to piss me off today...FLIP OFF for the third time!
I can see handing someone a single pack of gum to put in their purse. That makes sense and it's a courteous gesture.
But I bought 2 packages of gum with 3 packs in each.
You really think I want to cram all 6 packs of gum in my purse?
Obviously you don't care how you cram my groceries on top of each other. Why show so much concern for my gum?
Gum fetish? That's my guess.

To the neighbor who has been fixing up his house so he can rent it and decided to tell another neighbor that we are lazy because we haven't done much to our house...FLIP OFF!
It's called money, jackass and it's something we don't have much of.
If we could afford siding, we would replace it. We've fixed the effin gutters 17 times but they keep falling off.
You worry about your house, pal.
Leave us alone.

To the person who thought that a unibrow would be a good look for the lead actor in this 70's horror flick I'm watching...FLIP OFF!
Just ewwww.

To the same person who thought the female lead should say her baby is kicking as she dies in Unibrow's arms...FLIP OFF!
She just found out she was pregnant in the beginning of the film. You really think the baby has feet already?

To the cat hoarder's cat who thinks my deck is a comfortable bed...FLIP OFF!
You have a home, you little furball!
Don't give me those cute little kitten eyes. I'm not falling for it.

To Rescue Me...FLIP OFF!
But also...I heart you.
You have left me completely conflicted this season and I don't know what to think. This whole season felt like a final season to me and I was preparing myself to say goodbye.
Now I'm just confused.
You better bring it big time in the next season.
Make me love you all over again. Is that too much to ask?

To the Spin Pin, apparently the most elusive hair care product in the world...FLIP OFF!
Well, not really Flip Off to you, because I think I will love you once I can find you. It's more of a Flip Off to every retailer I've gone to who doesn't have you.
Don't they know you could change my life?
Those bastards are keeping us apart and I don't think it's right.

To my stupid little stress ball of a brain...FLIP OFF!
I know things are tough right now, princess, but can you please lighten up a little?
I need to get through all these trials and tribulations without eating 7 dozen coping cupcakes, mmmkay?
A few less thoughts racing around up there would be super. Thanks so much.

I feel better already.
Thanks, my fellow FFOers.
I'm off to check out other people's flips.
Happy Holiday Weekend to all!


  1. Wow, you had plenty to flip off this week! I hate unibrows. My husband is starting to get one and I may need to march him into an eyebrow waxing place :)

    have a great weekend!

  2. lots and lots of flips - that's the best feeling, ain't it??

    the gum fetish, totally laughed at that one ;)


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