You're all getting fish for Christmas. You're welcome.

Let me tell you a little bit about our fish pond.
Fish ponds are supposed to be pretty and relaxing. They are supposed to provide hours of entertainment and joy.

This picture is of such a pond:


Wasn't that relaxing? Such pretty fishes.

This is our pond:


Yeah. Not so attractive.
I'm not offended by your disgust. I'm with you.
See how the water is green? It isn't supposed to be. That picture was actually taken a couple years ago so it's much greener now.
Yay.

Don't judge us. We love our pond (at least the idea of it). We love our fishes (yes there are fishes in amongst all the sludge). We have done nothing but work on that freakin pond since we moved in this house 3 years ago.

Our first project was to empty out most of the water and clean it out. We took all the little fishes and put them in a bucket where they gave us the evil eye as we invaded their territory. We got in the pond and fished out all kinds of debris (including a knife and some street signs - silly juvenile delinquents and their hiding of evidence). We scrubbed the liner, replaced the water and put the fishes back in their newly cleaned pond.
That lasted for awhile.
Then, our pump broke. Then it started working again. Then it broke again. Then it started working again. Then it...you get the picture.
During the times that the pump was broken, apparently a lot of sludge built up. So much so that the water became even greener than it was.
We got a new pump and finally got everything to work. Of course, it was a little too late as the sludge had taken over.

We have tried and tried to clear it up with minimal success. We've tried various cleaning powders, solutions and tablets. All have failed. We are at the point now that we clean out the filter about 3 times a week. It gets clogged up with sludge and you have to take everything apart, hose it out, unclog it and put it all back together, crossing your fingers that it all works like it's supposed to. Usually it doesn't and you have to keep taking things apart until you figure out what is still clogged and re-unclog it. This is all while avoiding the bright green water that is running down the sidewalk and onto your feet.
Arghhh!

That damn pond has become our nemesis.
We just purchased a uv filter because the woman at the one pond store said that would help. We also had to take our pump in to the guy at the other pond store because it wasn't pumping. He kindly fixed it and saved us $180. I love him now.

Aside from the sludge in the pond, we are also battling with the overgrown plants that surround the pond. There are two hydrangeas, a Japanese Maple and a rose bush all tangled up in a rusty wire fence on one side of the pond. Then there is a shrub on the one side where the biggest spider I've ever seen lives. That shrub gets very little attention from me.

I just spent the better part of my evening hacking away at the rose bush. I love the pretty pink roses and I will miss them so. However, it had to go. It was taking over the entrance to our back yard. Every time the pup went to the gate to peek outside, she yelped. Partly because the overgrown branches were in her way. Partly because she seemed to forget the bush was there. Every time. (sigh) She is so pretty.
Anyway, I got my $6 hedge clippers and said goodbye to the rose bush today. Now, MB has to help me dig it out so we can then dig out all the other weeds, replace the rusty wire fence and put new stones around the sludgy pond which hopefully won't be so sludgy after this very pricey uv filter starts doing it's thing.

For crying out loud, I hope these fish appreciate all of our efforts.

Anyway, we are continuing to fight the sludge but we are starting to give up hope. If we can't de-green this pond, I don't what will happen.
It just may kill us.

I always thought it would be cupcakes that did me in. If it's going to be green pond sludge, then so be it.
(sigh)