Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The fatness.

Weigh in day has come upon me once again.
I would love to get on here and tell you all that I am back on track and working towards my goals. That just isn't the case. I don't really have a reason as to why I have fallen off track and can't seem to get back on. I wish there was a simple explanation to my lack of motivation. I wish there was a switch I could just turn on to make myself do it.
I wish all of these things.
I know that I want to lose the pounds. I know that I want to feel better. I know that I want to wear all of my cute skinny clothes this summer. I know that in order for any of that to happen, I have to make some serious changes.
I know what those changes are. I know how to implement them. I know that I feel better when I do implement them. I know that they work.
I could waste everyone's time by making up excuses for why I'm still a fatass. I could tell you that I've been busy. That I've had a lot of stress. That I've been working inconsistent hours. That I just haven't had time. All of those things are true.
But the bottom line is that there is no excuse.
If I want to wear those size 8 capris and that little purple tank top, I have to get real. I have to do this. It's time.
I spent the better part of the morning hunched over because my back is tightening up again. When this happens, I am basically at a 45 degree angle. It's super sexy.
I got winded the other day when I had to walk up two flights of stairs to get to a meeting.
My body is telling me it's time for a change.
Can I do this? Yes.
Do I want it? Yes.
Do I have the tools? Yes.
Do I have the support? Yes.
So, why haven't I stuck to it? I don't know.
I just don't know.
I post every week that my goals are to do Slim in 6 and to eat more fruits and veggies. I've done it here and there and had a couple awesome weeks. More often than not, I haven't done it and I've made no progress.
I'm not going to set any goals for this coming week. I'm just going to make an effort to adjust my mindset. I'm going to try and kick that inner skinny bitch into high gear. That's what I'm going to focus on this week. Finding my motivation. Finding that push that's going to get me where I want to be.
Will I have some progress to report next Tuesday? I plan to.
Will you all still be rooting for me? I hope so.
Will you all be allowed to pummel me with rotten cabbage if I fail? Maybe.

*Just in case anyone is interested: I made turkey tacos for dinner and I counted the points for the entire meal. Maybe that inner skinny bitch is starting to wake up a little!


  1. I wish I knew what to tell you. :( Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat of wanting - needing - to do it, but feeling completely stuck and unable to start. I hate it.

    I'll still be here rooting for you, though. <3

  2. I know that feeling. Until this past Monday, I had been there for almost 3 weeks.
    Stuck. Absolutely effing stuck.

    I had the want, the desire, the need, the tools, the support. and still - nothing.

    I don't know what to tell you. I could say
    "YAY - you can do it - I beleive in you!"

    But what good would that do, I mean really. It's just a few words on a screen.

    You'll get there. The inner skinny will eventually get sick and tired of being burried by the fat girl and she'll fight back. And she'll win.

    I'll still be wearing my girlybitz team hat :)

  3. Thanks guys! I really appreciate it. It's so gorgeous out today, I'm already feeling motivated. :)


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