Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Dead sexy eyes and jello shots.

Another St. Patricks Day has come and gone. I enjoyed my holiday this year. Although none of my girls could hang with me, I managed to have fun with the boys all day. MB, myself and about 4 of his friends all hung out, drinking and eating corned beef and cabbage. Good times.

It's such a different experience to go to a bar with a bunch of boys. They just don't appreciate the same things my girls would have. They wouldn't do jello shots with me. They didn't appreciate my fashion critiques (where do you even find a black tutu skirt and why would you wear it, ever) and they wouldn't let me flirt with other hot boys.

Anycarbomb, I spent most of the day with MB and his one friend, who I will call BeardBoy. That's obviously not his name, but out of respect for him and what little dignity he may have left in his life, I am not using his real name. Especially because his name is unique. If you live in the Philly area and know someone with that name, it's probably him., Hence the need for discretion.

So, we started drinking at our house at 1pm. The boys were doing carbombs and I was drinking water. I was trying to be a good girl. I wanted to avoid any embarrassing drunken displays of silliness. You have to maintain a certain level of cool when hanging with the boys.

Anyjameson, we are lucky enough to have an Irish pub right around the corner from our house. They have good beer and are within walking distance. Perfect. We left just in time to avoid paying the cover charge. We like St Patricks Day and all, but we are super cheap. Cover? I don't think so. Especially since there are no drink specials and I'm drinking from a paper cup. You bastards should be paying me.

Just saying.

Anyguiness, we hung out there for a bit. BeardBoy was trying to find a woman and wanted MB to be his wingman. He found a cute girl but wanted MB to 'jump on the grenade' who was her friend. After praising MB for the Jersey Shore reference, I punched him in the arm. Then, I offered my services as the grenade-jumper. I said I would gladly girl-bond with the 'grenade' and do jello shots (those jello shots were really calling out to me - so green and pretty) and such if BeardBoy would just make his move. I told him I needed to know if he had a chance before I committed to befriending this chick. He refused and therefore so did I. I'm not being anyone's wingman if they aren't even going to use the line we prepared.

Which was awesome: "You must be Irish because my wang is Dublin."

Classsic. Who could go wrong with that line?

Anyyuengling, BeardBoy is a super funny guy. Sometimes inappropriate. Sometimes nonsensical. Sometimes downright mean. Always funny.

Here is a sampling of Beard Boy's comments throughout the day.


"You may have to take my eye drops from me because I think I drank them last year."

"So, midgets are funny."

"It's okay. She's just the T and A."
(in response to the waitress who wasn't our actual waitress informing us that the kitchen was really backed up and our food would take awhile)

"I don't know. I don't ask these questions. She has a right to her privacy."
(in response to MB asking BeardBoy how old his mother is)

"What's it called when Amish people get to take a break? Rumshah? I think I learned that word on ER. That's why I cry at night."

"Can I borrow this book? It starts out pretty good."
(after exiting my bathroom - arghh)

"Are you wearing two pairs of socks? No? Then, you have really fat feet."
(said to MB as they are sitting on the couch)

"Do you have any pie? We are going to need some pie. If I were to train a dog to do anything, it would be to fetch some pie."
(looking at my pup) "You are useless, dog. You have dead sexy eyes, but you are useless."

And that is why I love MB's friends. I'm always entertained.

For my fellow fat trackers out there, I am proud to say that I did not overindulge. I had one serving of corned beef and cabbage for dinner; one slice of my soda bread; turkey tacos for lunch; and a salad as my snack at the bar. Not too bad, huh? Of course that isn't counting the alcohol! I had 3 beers, 1 zombie on the rocks, 2 malibu and pineapple and lots of water. That's over a 9 hour period. Considering what I've been known to guzzle in the past, that's pretty good!
It is gorgeous outside and I am not hungover so I'm going to get out and enjoy the sunshine. The pup and I are going to go for a walk around the neighborhood and then I will probably do some yard work.
Hope you all have a chance to enjoy some sunshine today!


  1. I so know what you mean about hanging out with guys vs girls. They're both fun, but in such different ways. My group of friends right now is mostly guys, and I really miss hanging out with girls. Even just for the fashion commentary. :)


  2. ok, hopefully i didn't say this before because it might take away from what im about to write... THIS WAS THE BEST blog i've ever read from you! (yet :)) :::Clap, clap, clap:::

  3. I think that maybe BeardBoy is the male version of my daughter, Ashinator. Their crazy comments run in the same vein. Lord help us if there are two of them!

    I'm not much of a girl-girl, so I actually do better hanging out with the guys. I would so lose with the fashion snarking. Badly. And then some.


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