Overheard as we approached a church where traffic was stopped and a random guy was directing traffic to allow a funeral attendee to back out of the lane:
"WTF is this guy doing?! What is he doing?! For the love of...YOU HAVE NO LEGAL RIGHT TO DO THAT SIR! You and your...(passing the gentleman) very fashionable looking derby."
*the gentleman was wearing a quite fetching derby with his ensemble.
Afterwards: "What? You don't see hats like that anymore."
Overheard as we see a guy essentially walking down the middle of the highway surrounded by snow wearing army fatigues:
"Get the f*@# out of the middle of the road! Oh wait, you're wearing camouflage. No one can see you. Jackass."
Overheard as we pass a group of students walking home from school:
"WTH are they doing? GO TO SCHOOL!"
Me: "School is out for the day babe. They're done."
"Well they should get the hell back in there."
My favorite part of this little errand running adventure was when we got stuck behind mattress man. This jackass had 2 mattresses tied precariously to his luggage rack with twine. These mattresses were almost vertical because the wind was lifting them up. It looked like we were going to have mattresses flying into our windshield at any moment.
MB finally passes them after stroking out from anger. Then we see a cop car going the opposite direction towards the mattress man.
"What are you doing down here officer? There's a jackass back there with mattresses! You need to go see if the tags have been illegally ripped off."
It's funny to me, people.