Sunday, February 28, 2010

Mullets and panty lines.

My week of singledom is officially over. It was over on Friday, actually. MB is back. How did he greet me after a week long absence? The usual - a nice deep Homer Simpsomesque burp right to the cheek. Sweet, huh?
For some reason, this is the effect I have on MB. Whenever he goes in for a kiss, he burps. I'm not sure what that means. I have no interest in spending any time trying to figure it out either. I have enough to obsess about.
Like my recent haircut. It's just awful. Every time I look in the mirror, I see a mullet. Not your typical bounty hunter style mullet. Nothing that obvious. My mullet is subtle. I've got super short choppy layers on top and a long layer of fun underneath. It's making me sick. Every time I get my hair cut, this happens. I don't have difficult hair. It's long, thick and gray. It can't be that hard to cut.
I think the real problem is that I begin speaking a different language when I sit in the chair. I think I'm saying 'trim it up, thin it out and touch up the layers', when I'm actually saying: 'You know that show Dog? Can you give me a subtle version of that? Subtle enough that it will slowly drive me insane until I stab myself in the eye after cutting off all my hair?'
Don't worry. I have no intentions of stabbing myself in the eye. I'm just going to fester over this until it grows out and I have to get it cut again. Then the process will repeat itself. Or maybe not. Perhaps I should stop going to The Chop Shop where all haircuts are $7.95. That could be the problem.
Oh well. Life goes on.
I haven't been up to much else this past week.
Went to a bridal show where I could've won a free wedding or a free cruise. I'm not sure if my name was drawn or not. I was too distracted by the panty lines of the lady doing the drawing. For the love of all things clingy, please don't wear bikini panties that are clearly a size too small under a sweater dress. Just don't do it. They make spanx for a reason.
It was a fun show though, all flab aside. The booze and the food were free. Enough said.
I watched some really crappy tv this week. You will see my upcoming post about the worst movie I've ever seen. It's so bad, it deserves it's own post. And the guy who told me about it deserves a full review without the distractions of mullets and panty lines.
That's really all I have to say for now. Hope you are all having a good week.


  1. I had that same haircut just two years ago! I went to a beauty school (yes, I know, WTF did I expect?) for a cut and a color. Took my sister and daughter for the same thing. Their hair was AMAZEBALLS. Mine? Billy Ray Cyrus would have been proud of what they managed to accomplish. I went in with waist-length straight hair and came out with a shoulder-length mess. Took more than a year to grow out all of the gawdawful layers.

    I feel for you. I suppose you can always flashback to the pantyline lady when you get upset over your hair :)

  2. Lol! Picturing that would make me feel better. I may have a bad haircut, but I'm not squeezing my unspanxed butt into a sweater dress for all to see.
    Sorry you had the same misfortune. A year? Omg!


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