Sunday, December 13, 2009

Im no scrooge.

My neighbor who wanted to use my overgrown mystery bush as part of her Christmas light display is trying to make me look like a jackass.
Granted, they wanted to trim the bush, which has been in desperate need of trimming for 2 years. They didn't even ask for any payment. Not that we would have offered. We're not stupid. Free labor is free labor.
Although MB did suggest that we give them cookies this year. They just moved in for crying out loud! And Christmas cookies is not a 'we' thing. It's 'me' in there baking and decorating. Not 'we'.
I already plan on giving the nice neighbor cookies since he gave us his mutant garden vegetables all summer long. Seriously, I have never seen a zucchini so big in my entire life (giggity). He also gave us rum cake, which was delicious. And he throws rocks at the cats when they get in our yard and we aren't there to scare them off. And he gives us all the gossip we could ever ask for.
He's like the best neighbor ever.
If only we knew his name. It's been 2 years and I think his name is Bill. So far, I've been able to avoid actually using his name. If I ever have to though, I'm just going to call him Bill. That may make him suspicious that I'm going through his mail since we have never introduced ourselves to each other. But, I don't care. It's still Bill as far as I'm concerned.
So, back to the wierdo on the other side.
Who the hell just volunteers to trim someone else's bushes?
People trying to show us up, that's who. People who think they are better than us and want everyone to know it.
I'm not a bad person just because I don't trim my bushes. There are plenty of other things I do that make me a bad person. Neglected landscaping is not at the top of the list.
Those bastards not only trimmed the bush (which looks great, by the way - we should have done it months ago), they decorated it too. I knew she wanted to put lights on it. I was okay with that. But, these lights are not festive. They are just spiteful.
I gave them free reign to decorate that bush and make it part of their Christmasy little yard. What do they do? Decorate half the bush. The half on their side.
It's a slap in the face. As if to say 'see how we are the better neighbors because we care about how our side looks'. 'Those losers have no Christmas spirit.' 'No soul.' 'You should all hate them and their undecorated yard.' 'We do.'
Well, I have news for them - we hate them too. Now.
It didn't have to be like this. I was trying to be gracious. And this is the thanks I get. If she thinks I'm putting lights on my side of that crappy bush, she is sadly mistaken.
And if she thinks she's getting anything other than floor cookies, she is also mistaken.
Merry Christmas bastards!


  1. First, I have to admit that all this talking of trimming bushes did NOT make me think of plant life. Heh.

    Secondly, I think I love you and all of your funny. Thanks for the multiple giggles. ;)


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