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Friday, November 13, 2009

Migraines

I'm posting about the migraine article link I posted previously because I just realized that I didn't really comment on it and I wanted to.
Migraines are the devil's spawn. Pure evil.
Since the age of 5, I have been afflicted with them and there is no end in sight. There are only those good stretches where I don't have one for awhile. Those are nice. And rare.
The bad ones are really bad. Horrible. I wouldn't wish them on anyone. It's been 30 years and they still take me for a ride. The pain can be unbearable. The confusion can be disorienting. The inability to speak coherently or think logically can be humiliating. The sensitivity is overwhelming - all of your senses seem to intensify and every sight, sound, touch and smell can send you over the edge. Then there's the pain. Then the further humiliation when you find that it's hitting all of a sudden and you just have to run. Wherever you are is rarely the optimal place to be.
I have often had to just leave without really being able to tell anyone why or what's going on, because I simply can't. I'm too afraid I'm going to break down in tears or begin the uncontrollable vomiting. None of it is pretty. I have to run home to suffer through it in private. Sometimes it's for hours. Sometimes for days. The bathroom becomes my sanctuary. The ice pack my best friend. No one can do anything to make it better. No one can comfort me. It just has to run it's course.
Even when it's not a really bad one, it's still pretty bad. Sometimes it can be stopped before it gets to the really bad stage. That's a good day. When the meds work and you can regain your functioning without incident. I like those days.
It's always been sort of a dirty little secret for me. I know it's a medical condition and it's not my fault and all that. I know all of that. But, I also know how humiliating it can be to be the kid at the party who's throwing up in the bathroom and has to go home early. Or the kid on the bus who's so sick the driver has to pull over, making everyone else late to get home. Or the friend who can't join in because the beast is there, threatening.
It makes me so happy that Cindy McCain is speaking out about migraines. That anyone is speaking out about migraines. This is a good thing that has been a long time coming. She has my support. I hope she has all the support she needs to make some progress. I will continue to follow this story and will continue to post any updates I find. If you find any, please send them to me.

2 comments:

  1. So I'm just catching up... I'm really really behind...and have to say, I understand completely. They are awful. And most of the time when you tell someone, "I have a migraine," they look at you like "Yeah, sure, whatever." And then there are those people who claim to have them, and you know they don't because they are too bubbly and happy to possibly have a true migraine. I wouldn't wish them on a single soul either, but no one can truly understand them unless they experience one.

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  2. You're not as behind as I am. I was just scrolling through your blog and seeing all the pregnancy stuff I missed. Had I known that was there, I would've stopped trying to squeeze info out of MB. You know how he is!
    I know you've been there with the migraines so you get it. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Come anytime! :)

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