If you own flippers, please do not read this post.

It's damn hot outside.

How hot is it?

It's so damn hot that I don't want to exert the energy to change the channel, resulting in my watching Toddlers and Tiaras for the past hour and a half.

Yeah. That's pretty damn hot.

I mean, this lady has a purple horse that she uses in her pageant daughter/future stripper's routine. She uses food coloring to dye her horse. Food coloring.

I have so many issues with this, I don't even know where to begin. Does anyone want to take a road trip to whatever bumblefrick town this little future stripper lives in? Bring a trailer and/or big truck because purple horses need lots of leg room.

Also, I'd like to take a detour to whatever bumblefrick town the other little future stripper lives in so we can have an intervention with her mom. If your hubby wears the tiaras in the family and enjoys getting pre-pageant pedicures, you have bigger issues than 'omg, my future stripper's flippers aren't in straight'.

Also again, spray tanning your future stripper in the local body shop?

I actually might use this one. After all, I need a little color before my wedding day and I happen to have a great body shop guy. I'm not sure how I feel about him seeing me naked, but I think we can work on that.

The whole point of this post was that it's damn hot.

I'm going to go get some more ice water and get naked in front of the fan.

Good night peeps.
I hope it's a lot cooler wherever you are. I'd hate for you to have to suffer through bad television too.