So, I almost got disfigured by a frozen fruit bar today.
Shut up. It was scary.
I pull the frozen coconut bar out of the freezer and take off the wrapper. I put my lips on the fruit bar and then I just froze.
My lips were stuck.
I was like the kid in The Christmas Story with his face stuck to a pole. Except that I was feeding my fat face, not responding to a triple dog dare.
So there's that.
I was in super emergency panic OMG I'M GOING TO RIP MY FREAKIN LIPS OFF crisis mode!
Wth was I going to do?!!
I couldn't really call 911 with a fruit bar stuck to my lips. Driving myself to the ER was definitely out. Waiting for it to melt was really not an option. I had errands to run.
Luckily my inner Girl Scout kicked in and I made my way to the sink. I got some warm water and poured it over my lips until I was able to slowly remove them from the fruit bar.
I'm sure anyone that happened to walk by my kitchen window at that moment got a good laugh.
Hell, I got a good laugh out of it.
Not while my lips were stuck. That could've been fatal. Do you know how hard it is to breathe with a coconut bar stuck in your lips?
It's pretty damn difficult people.
You'll be happy to know that my lips are intact and I was able to enjoy that coconut fruit bar without further incident. Of course, I had a glass of warm water standing by.
How does this relate to my broken fridge?
Well, it's apparently set too high and we can't seem to change the temperature. It's why I had icy lettuce and my butter was like a brick earlier this week.
I told MB about this potential problem after my icy salad mishap. He didn't seem to care then. Now that I have suffered injury at the hands of the freezer, maybe he will take more interest.
I doubt it.
When I told him of my incident, he wasn't impressed. He went into the man cave mumbling something about dorks and shaking his head.
I saw him on match.com later searching for someone with grace and basic appliance repair skills.