I can't make this stuff up.

In honor of the full moon, I would like to share some snippets from my time in the Crisis Unit.

Enjoy.

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Coworker 1 searched a patient, got them in gowns and brought them back to the crisis unit.

Coworker 1: She's had 3 pregnancies, 2 bouts of gonorrhea and at least 2 bouts of chlamydia.

Coworker 2: Wow. That was one hell of a thorough search.

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Nurse was talking to a man who had been punched by a relative. When he asked him if he was okay, the man replied: "I'm fine. A hillbilly can take a punch."

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Nurse: Any allergies?

Patient: I'm allergic to lies.

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Buzzards don't raise canaries. Buzzards raise buzzards.

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Caller: Do you know of any places where my husband can go to quit drinking?

Staff: Does your husband want to quit drinking?

Caller: He will when I'm done with him.

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