So, I've been in a bit of a funk lately.
It's been lingering for awhile but it seems to have really set in over the past week or so.
It's not the kind of funk where I'm in my pajamas, unbathed for days at a time watching reruns of Lifetime. It's more the kind of funk where I am just frustrated with the stagnation in my life and I don't see any hope.
I'm 35 years old (yeah, I said it) and I feel like I should be a lot further along with my life goals than I am.
I'm engaged to a man I truly love. We own a home together. We have our gorgeous pup. We have good friends and try to have fun no matter what we do.
It just seems like we can't get ahead.
We are both disgruntled with our government jobs - sh*t money, political bullsh*t, no chance for advancement, no motivation to achieve or care - you get the idea.
It's so discouraging to keep working and just getting nowhere. We continue to live paycheck to paycheck, watching every penny. We actually manage to get a little something set aside and then we get a tax bill that sucks it all up. We start to feel like things are stabilizing and the city does furloughs.
When will it end?!
We aren't asking to be millionaires. We just want to be able to live comfortably. We want to be able to put that fence up in the yard. We want to be able to fix the siding. Replace the front foor. Finish the spare room. Take a weekend to Gettysburg. Go out to dinner once in awhile and not stress over the tab.
Do any of those little things that normal people do.
We also want to be able to go back to school and further ourselves and our careers.
None of that is likely to happen anytime soon though.
We are stuck.
Just stuck. And it sucks.
I want to curl up in my Snuggie with a batch of cupcakes, a case of beer and the remote. Unfortunately, I have to carry on.
I've found that suppressing all the frustration and digruntledness isn't entirely healthy. Sarcasm seems to work okay.
Also, it's Shark Week. That's helping.
It's the little things.