Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Drag queens aren't doing it right.
Why is it that you never see a man choosing to dress up as a menstruating woman? You always see glamorous, sex kitten drag queens with perfect makeup, perfect boobs and fabulous shoes.
Where are the men with threadbare tshirts that are stained with wine and cupcake icing?
Where are the men with their unwashed hair and faces spotted with acne cream?
Where are the men with cheeto stained fingertips and chipped fingernails?
Where are the men with bags under their eyes because they've been up all night watching a marathon of the Real Housewives?
Where are the men who are in tears because they can't fit their bloated bellies into even their fattest fat pants?
Where are the men who are on the verge of a mental breakdown as they walk into the local drug store because they had to wear their boyfriend's stinky sweat pants because nothing else would fit even with two pairs of spanx and then had to park two rows away because some skinny bitch cut them off and then had to buy ten useless items (who really needs floor wax, seriously) in addition to the tampons and midol they came in for because they don't want the really cute male cashier to think that's what they came in for?
Where the hell are those bastards?
It isn't all lipstick and pearls you douchebags!