Sunday, May 16, 2010
Friday Flip Off.
I decided to play along with Friday Flip Offs at the suggestion of Alicia over at A Beautiful Mess. Yeah, I know it's not Friday anymore. Technically, it's Sunday where I am. I'm 2 days late. Don't get yourself in a tizzy. I would tell you to flip off, but there have been many more deserving flipees this week.
Here they are...
Btw, that is what the pup looks like when she's telling you to FLIP OFF! Her eyes seriously get devil red. That's why I always feed her on time.
For any judgey neighbors who choose to gossip about the fact that my gutter is in the front yard AGAIN, FLIP OFF! I am not white trash, I just happened to purchase a home from someone with no gutter putting up skills.
For the jerkhead from New York who decided to scare the sh*t out of me by barreling up behind me at 90 miles an hour today on I-95 with no apparent intention to stop, FLIP OFF! I hope you crash.
For the dermatologist who didn't feel that there was any problem when the mole I've had on my face for 35 years all of a sudden gets red, swollen, oozy and bleedy then heals but looks totally different from the way it's looked for 35 years, FLIP OFF! Google said I had cancer. If I do in fact have cancer and end up with a giant hole in my face, you are so to blame.
For the apparently crappy brand new air conditioner in my kitchen that decided to leak water all over my floor, FLIP OFF! You can totally be replaced.
For the grocery store cashier who mumbles incoherently but insists on talking and talking even though you can't hear or understand her, FLIP OFF! I think you just told me you like dark chocolate or you may have commented on the bag of charcoal I purchased. Either way, I don't care.
For the deformed grocery cart that wanted to go left so badly I ended up with sore muscles from veering it to the right and away from fellow shoppers' feet, FLIP OFF! As much as I enjoy ramming people with my cart when they are dicks, today they are actually nice.
For my blackberry which apparently hates my pictures and won't let me upload any pictures to any sites ever, FLIP OFF! Facebook readers need to see my pup pictures. You are only hurting them, asshole.
For the spider who is currently under the plunger in my downstairs bathroom, FLIP OFF! If you attack while I am peeing, this is what you get.
That felt really good. I will be back next Friday (yes, on Friday this time) for more rantings.
Happy weekend to all. :)