I decided to play along with Friday Flip Offs at the suggestion of Alicia over at A Beautiful Mess. Yeah, I know it's not Friday anymore. Technically, it's Sunday where I am. I'm 2 days late. Don't get yourself in a tizzy. I would tell you to flip off, but there have been many more deserving flipees this week.
Here they are...
Btw, that is what the pup looks like when she's telling you to FLIP OFF! Her eyes seriously get devil red. That's why I always feed her on time.
For any judgey neighbors who choose to gossip about the fact that my gutter is in the front yard AGAIN, FLIP OFF! I am not white trash, I just happened to purchase a home from someone with no gutter putting up skills.
For the jerkhead from New York who decided to scare the sh*t out of me by barreling up behind me at 90 miles an hour today on I-95 with no apparent intention to stop, FLIP OFF! I hope you crash.
For the dermatologist who didn't feel that there was any problem when the mole I've had on my face for 35 years all of a sudden gets red, swollen, oozy and bleedy then heals but looks totally different from the way it's looked for 35 years, FLIP OFF! Google said I had cancer. If I do in fact have cancer and end up with a giant hole in my face, you are so to blame.
For the apparently crappy brand new air conditioner in my kitchen that decided to leak water all over my floor, FLIP OFF! You can totally be replaced.
For the grocery store cashier who mumbles incoherently but insists on talking and talking even though you can't hear or understand her, FLIP OFF! I think you just told me you like dark chocolate or you may have commented on the bag of charcoal I purchased. Either way, I don't care.
For the deformed grocery cart that wanted to go left so badly I ended up with sore muscles from veering it to the right and away from fellow shoppers' feet, FLIP OFF! As much as I enjoy ramming people with my cart when they are dicks, today they are actually nice.
For my blackberry which apparently hates my pictures and won't let me upload any pictures to any sites ever, FLIP OFF! Facebook readers need to see my pup pictures. You are only hurting them, asshole.
For the spider who is currently under the plunger in my downstairs bathroom, FLIP OFF! If you attack while I am peeing, this is what you get.
That felt really good. I will be back next Friday (yes, on Friday this time) for more rantings.
Happy weekend to all. :)
This gave me SUCH a weel-needed chuckle! Thanks for flipping off so many well deserving flippees :)
ReplyDeleteHey... thanks for flipping off today. This is a really good idea. I may have to join in next Friday.. I'm always up for flipping people off..
ReplyDeleteLeft a little something over at the castle.. grab em both since I am from Kansas.. I read you.. and I think you are magical..
My Blackberry won't let me upload photos to Facebook anymore either - "Facebook has encountered an error." - FLIP OFF BLACKBERRY! I hate that crap too. Grrrrr....
ReplyDeleteSOOOO glad you are joining up. I think I'll try to put a linky on my blog. You can come over and link up if you want. It will help your traffic flow too. Win Win.
ReplyDeleteOMG. Those were great. You seriously needed a FOF girl. Loved them all, especially the spider and deformed cart- original and we've all been there. FLIP OFF!
The mole thing is kind of freaky....can you go see a different doc?
ReplyDeleteThis is so therapeutic!!
ReplyDeleteI will give a double flip off myself to that guy that barreled up behind you. People do this to me a lot and when they do, it means they are in my back seat. Nearly gives me a heart attack every. single. time.
Your pup looks like she could shoot lasers out of her eyes. Which would certainly come in handy in previously mentioned bad driver situation.