Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Sometimes poker is just poker.

This is kind of cute. Of course I have to share.
So, the other night, MB invited some of the peeps over to play poker. Most of the peeps were guys. That's why when I mentioned poker night to my mother, I said 'the guys'. Also because she doesn't understand what 'peeps' means.
Anywhatthehelldidyoujustsaytomeyounglady, I was chatting with her and mentioned that MB had the guys over for poker night.
No big deal, right? It's what people do.

Her response: Are you sure you're safe in the house with all of those guys there?
Me: (after recovering from my wtf moment) Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?
Her: I don't know. I just worry about you up there.
Me: You know MB is here too, right?
Her: I know. I know.
Me: It's not like he's inviting burglars and rapists into our home.
Her: So, did I tell you the church yard sale is next weekend?

For the love of cupcakes, I'm 35 years old! I live with my fiance who loves and takes care of me. What in the world does she think is going to happen?
*Just so you know, I had a minor anxiety attack at posting my age. Arghh.

Moving on, here is a list of the things I wanted to say to her, but didn't:
-It's okay. They're nice guys. Except for the gang rape. And the crack.
-Don't worry, I'm making them use condoms.
-The girls will be here later. Then we really get into the dirty stuff.
-They only take their penises out after they eat. Trust me, we've had that conversation: No dicks at the dinner table!

I know. I'm a horrible daughter. I just continue to be amazed at the fact that she thinks girls hanging out with boys equals automatic sexual assault.
Poor woman.


  1. HA, look at you lying to your poor mom... everyone knows "poker night" means Orgy. Shame on you.... so, i'll be over next "poker night", just to keep you safe and all

  2. LOL, is she a fairly "sheltered" woman. I didn't think anyone still had this type of belief!!!

    Oh well, proves she loves you lots, right?


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