This is kind of cute. Of course I have to share.
So, the other night, MB invited some of the peeps over to play poker. Most of the peeps were guys. That's why when I mentioned poker night to my mother, I said 'the guys'. Also because she doesn't understand what 'peeps' means.
Anywhatthehelldidyoujustsaytomeyounglady, I was chatting with her and mentioned that MB had the guys over for poker night.
No big deal, right? It's what people do.
Her response: Are you sure you're safe in the house with all of those guys there?
Me: (after recovering from my wtf moment) Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?
Her: I don't know. I just worry about you up there.
Me: You know MB is here too, right?
Her: I know. I know.
Me: It's not like he's inviting burglars and rapists into our home.
Her: So, did I tell you the church yard sale is next weekend?
For the love of cupcakes, I'm 35 years old! I live with my fiance who loves and takes care of me. What in the world does she think is going to happen?
*Just so you know, I had a minor anxiety attack at posting my age. Arghh.
Moving on, here is a list of the things I wanted to say to her, but didn't:
-It's okay. They're nice guys. Except for the gang rape. And the crack.
-Don't worry, I'm making them use condoms.
-The girls will be here later. Then we really get into the dirty stuff.
-They only take their penises out after they eat. Trust me, we've had that conversation: No dicks at the dinner table!
I know. I'm a horrible daughter. I just continue to be amazed at the fact that she thinks girls hanging out with boys equals automatic sexual assault.