Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Warm fuzzies and tech support.

I have to thank Erin for the bloggy love. You can check her out here. She is super funny and has made amazing progress with her weight loss. Yay!
I always appreciate the love. However, I can't for the life of me figure out how to get that pretty little award over here. I couldn't do it in December and I can't do it now. I am so inept at all things technical. (sigh)
If you have any helpful advice, I would be grateful. Feel free to make fun of me too. My lack of computer and interwebs knowledge is always up for ridicule.
My idiocy is not limited to computers either.
Why at this very moment, I am reduced to getting off the sofa to turn on the tv and the dvr in my living room because the remote has all of a sudden refused to cooperate.
I think the problem is lack of force. In an effort to resolve that problem, I have used all my strength to push in the appropriate buttons as far as they will possibly go.
The problem could also be related to the batteries. Did you know that sometimes they need a little slap in the ass to readjust themselves every now and then? Trust me. If your batteries need replacing, try the ass slapping for awhile. It can extend the life of your draining batteries and save you loads of money in the long run. Seriously.
So of course, I tried the ass slapping.
Then I figured it was a matter of aim. I used all my yoga powers to try and direct that signal where it needed to be. You should've seen how bendy I was able to get. It totally counted as my activity for the day. That's how bendy.
Still nothing.
The next logical step is to apply verbal intimidation/motivation. When all else fails, a pep talk is in order. My version of a pep talk usually involves many, many curse words and threats. "Wtf is your gee dee problem?! You stupid, worthless s.o.b.! Do you even realize how much I hate you right now?! You useless disgusting bastard! Why won't you just do what I say?! Why?!?" You know, things like that. It's usually very successful. With electronics anyway.
I'm out of ideas at this point. MB suggested I call Verizon and get a new remote. I suggested that he's a big jerk who doesn't know anything about remotes. That conversation didn't end like I thought it would.
Anyway, I am now earning activity points by getting up and down to change channels.
Well, not really. I'm pretty much just suffering through whatever's on. Have you ever watched the Weather Channel? I mean really watched it? That's some good tv.
Just fyi.


  1. Wow. To be honest, I'm not sure that our TV and DVR even have power buttons. There's not a single button on the TV anyway. The DVR has a couple of buttons but none of them look like they would power the thing on.

    Anyway, what you need is a remote like the one DH bought for me since I am mostly incapable of figuring how to operate the variety of remotes it takes to fully power our system. It's made by Logitech and it has big button for HELP. So when you can't figure out why slapping the batteries has failed or why you ended up watching a 1993 re-run of Beverly Hills 90210 (2, 4, 6, 8. Donna Martin graduates) when you asked the damn thing to show you Masterpiece Theatre, you just hit this help button and it figures it all out for. Super easy.

    And thank you in advance for not pointing out that I watched BH 9er instead of MT because that's in fact what I watch every weekend and have never once asked the DVR to tape Masterpiece Theatre. Really. Thanks.

  2. oie. Remote controls. They'll be the death of me. For me they're either not working or missing completely (they should have a string on them that hooks on to your couch, you know, like mittes have when you're a kid?!).

    Anyway... on another note, yes, I have learned many things from the weather network :)

  3. Susan - you're talking to someone who often watches marathons of Teen Mom. I don't judge. Besides, BH is a really good show. Full of timeless life lessons.

    PP - love the mitten idea. I think there should be hooks for everything easily lost. Keys. Cell phones. Anything that can be clipped to a Snuggie is fair game.


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