Thursday, February 4, 2010

Dog overboard.

Maybe it's all the snow going to her head. Maybe it's old age. Maybe it's the loss of hearing that has affected her brain. Maybe it truly is an alien pod invasion. Whatever the reason, my Skye girl is just not quite herself. Her latest and most anxiety inducing (for mommy anyway) antic is walking over the fish pond.
As you can see, we have a quite lovely little fish pond in our yard. We love our little fish pond. When we bought the house, we had a lot of work to do in order to make the pond less green and scummy. Apparently the previous owner who had only lived there for 1 year, never really did anything with the pond. She just let it go.
Her son found quite an interesting use for it as we soon discovered upon cleaning it. I never knew a 2 foot pond could hide so much evidence. We found a hunting knife, a couple street signs and some other questionable items.
Anyway, we cleaned it up, started caring for the fish and have really become attached to our little pond.
Skye girl used to show some interest in it. She would hang around during fish feeding and try to get a nibble of fish food. When she realized that wasn't going to happen, she wandered away. She knew there was water in there and had sense enough to stay away.
You see, one of the pup's greatest fears is water. She has many, many fears but water is probably at the top of the list. She hates it. It produces a panic in her like I've never known in a dog. The blood curtling screams that she lets out during bath time are enough to make you cry. It is awful. Just awful.
If you don't believe me, ask our neighbors. The last time we tried to give her a bath outside (her claustrophobia prevents us from doing it in the tub), they all thought she was being murdered. Neighbors on both sides came running out to make sure she was okay. Only to find her sadistic parents trying to scrub bacon grease out of her fur. If she had just stayed away from the grill, she wouldn't have gotten drippings on her and wouldn't have needed a bath. She just doesn't think about these things.
Apparently she is also not thinking about the fact that there is water under that oh so fragile ice she is now walking over. And it's not a one time thing. As you can see by her pawprints in the slush, she has been doing this for awhile. It's becoming a habit.
Which is why it's so concerning. She's going to keep doing this even as the ice thaws and eventually we will hear the splash. Followed by yelping and crying. Followed by neighbors expressing concern. It's going to be an ordeal.
You may wonder why we couldn't just pull her out. Or why she couldn't just pull herself out. All very reasonable things to ponder. If she were a normal dog. If she were a dog who liked to be touched. If she were a dog who didn't panic at the drop of a hat. If she were a dog who actually came to you when called or listened to commands.
She just isn't a normal dog. She's a special little princess who requires special handling. When she does fall into the pond, I predict a rescue operation of epic proportions. There will be lots of coaxing which will fall on her deaf ears (litterally deaf ears). There will be lots of failed attempts to grab hold of her collar. There will be lots of very frightened fish as mommy and daddy and probably some neighbors inevitably have to jump in the fish pond in order to grab Skye girl and lift her out. Then there will be some very wet and angry neighbors when she inevitably flails and fights resulting in lots of people falling face first into frozen fish pond sludge.
Mommy and daddy will not be angry, because we already know to expect the worse. We've got experience with her neuroses.
A friend suggested that I take preventive action by placing a board across the pond. She referred to this as "rednecking it up". Which I like. And I am now seriously considering. It's either that or dog swimmies. Do they even make those? I need to research this.

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