Footloose, bitches.

It's a pretty slow night in the Crisis Unit and I have a sudden burst of energy, so here I am. Again.
I'm sure my boss appreciates me doing this on company time just as much as you appreciate me rambling on and on and on and on.
Get over it.

And don't worry - I'm still saving lives between sentences. I'm not a total heartless bitch.
Omg.
(and yes, we absolutely save lives here in the crisis unit)
(we pretty much fix any problem you may have and fix it right)
(except if you are touching yourself or are nude for some reason while seeking help)
(then we just hang up)
(but professionally)
(and with life saving finesse)

Anyway, Kevin Bacon is a really bad singer.
Did you all know?
I sure didn't. And now, it's making me sad.

Have you ever been at a karaoke bar when that over confident girl who insists that she sounds just like Mariah Carey takes the stage? And then she doesn't sound anything like Mariah Carey at all? She just sounds like nails on the chalkboard on your soul. So bad that you start to lose your buzz.
So bad that you just want to 'accidentally' trip over the microphone cord on her behalf. Or 'accidentally' trample her, rendering her unconscious and therefore unable to utter one more off key musical offense.

That's what I wanted to do to Kevin Bacon when I heard the Bacon Brothers Band for the first time on New Years Day. I just wanted to save him from himself.
I couldn't though.
Because he'd be like: I'm Kevin Bacon bitches and this is my band and you can't stop me. I was in Footloose bitches. Footloose. Suck on that.
And, of course, I would have to back down because you can't argue with that.
It's flawless.

And who am I to criticize? I can't sing to save my life.
But, I know this. And therefore I only sing alone in my car. Because that's how much I care about others.
You're welcome, everyone.
(for those of you who have witnessed my unsolicited drunken back up singing on the stage speakers of that band at the beach - please keep your comments to yourself)
(thank you)

Maybe I misjudged anyway. Maybe Kevin was having an off night.

Kev (can I call you Kev?), if you're out there and you're reading Girly Bitz (cuz I'm sure you have nothing better to do), please prove me wrong.
Nothing fancy. Just a little jingle to showcase your musical stylings.
I've always been partial to Kenny Loggins. Maybe a little Danger Zone? Or one of your original songs? I'm not picky. Just really love Kenny Loggins. But whatever, you choose.

In the meantime, I will be watching a marathon of your films. Just to prove that I have not completely forsaken you.

Look forward to your melodic reply.
As I'm sure all of my loyal fans do.

Update - Please forgive me, Kev. In my efforts to find video proof of your suckiness, I stumbled upon only examples of your awesomeness.
Now I totally blame the local tv station who obviously wants to sabotage your career. Why else would they have aired such a travesty? It did you no justice whatsoever. Those Kev-hating bastards!

P.S. I would still appreciate a melodic reply. :)

P.S.S. Check this out, bitches. This guy was in Footloose!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVrIi31sX00