Friday, December 11, 2009

I ruined Christmas.

So, I just dropped an entire pan of Creme de Menthe brownies on the floor. The very pan of delicious brownies that I was to take to my friend's Christmas party tomorrow.
The very pan of delicious brownies MB and I had been drooling over, waiting to sample.
All our dreams of mint chocolatey goodness splattered on the kitchen floor.
MB's oh-so-supportive response: "WHAT THE FUCK! YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS!!! HOW COULD YOU?!"
This was right before he did a re-enactment to show how any idiot could pick up a tub of brownies without dropping them on the floor and ruining Christmas.
Little did he know that the tub was broken on one side and that's why I dropped it. That's also why he dropped it while trying to show how any idiot could pick it up without dropping it. And ruining Christmas.
HA! Jackass!!
Of course, much like the air conditioner incident, I tried to find the positive side to the tragedy.
I tried to point out that I just bleached the floor yesterday and that I'm pretty sure the brownies were picked up within the standard two seconds of safety for consumption.
I also tried to point out that although the brownies were no longer fit for guests, even with the application of the two second rule, they were perfectly fine for him.
I wouldn't tell anyone. It would be our little secret if he wanted to enjoy the brownies. I said this while casually removing dog hair from the brownies, which I had hoped he didn't see, but he totally did.
So, that was the end of my focusing on the positive. The brownies are now in the trash and I have ruined Christmas.
So far, the season is off to a lovely start in the Girly Bitz household. I think this will be another drunken holiday.
Much like last year, but hopefully with less hatcheting. Hopefully.
I'm not ruling anything out just yet.
And to explain the hatcheting reference:
This is the email I sent to my therapists/coworkers last Christmas before kicking off my booze filled holiday of stress.

December 20 2008:
Reasons to partake of the holiday spirits so far:
- The Christmas tree cost $50 and is way too wide to fit in the stand that our tree last year fit perfectly in.
-Not to mention that we had to unzip several windows in the Jeep in order to smush said $50 Christmas tree into said Jeep, in such a manner that the Lions Club volunteer expressed concern for our safety.
-Apparently all of the Christmas tree stands in New Castle County are sold out.
- Using a hatchet to hack away at the trunk of a Christmas tree for 45 minutes to make it fit into last year's tree stand is not as effective as you may think.
-Asking a salesperson for a tree stand and then a hatchet as the second option raises some eyebrows, but not as much as you might think.
- We do not own any holiday colored twine in which to attach the Christmas tree that does not fit into last year's tree stand even after 45 minutes of hatcheting and the resulting spray of wood chips over the entire basement, so yellow twine will have to do.
- Even with yellow twine attaching the Christmas tree to the wall, the tree is leaning precariously towards the wood stove and is not nearly secure enough to hang any ornaments from, so lights and a friggin bow will have to do.
- And the family has not even shown up yet!
Woo Merry Hoo!!

Let's all pray for a less stressful one this year!
For the sake of all things hatchetable.

1 comment:

  1. i swear. its never a bad idea to read your blog. cracks me the hell up.

    too bad about the brownies...i probably woulda still eaten them lol


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