And so it begins.

Crappy inflatable Santas are popping up already. And I'm not happy.
Stupid giant blow up snow globe to the right. Tacky giant blow up reindeer to the left.

And what's in the middle? Nothing. That's right, people. I'm not playing. I refuse to become part of the jackassery that is the neighborhood Christmas decoration contest.

It's 50 bucks, people. I'll give you 50 bucks right now if you take the crap down.

I'm not saying you shouldn't decorate. Decorations are awesome. Who doesn't love Christmas lights and plastic reindeer?
Terrorists, that's who. But that's a rant for another day.

Nobody likes giant inflatable things in the yard. Nobody.

Unless it's a giant moon bounce. Or a giant inflatable hot tub.

Ick. Scratch that. I just had a mental image of hot tubbing with my redneck neighbor who threatened me by doing push ups at me in my driveway.
True story. Did you know you could do push ups at someone? Me either, but it's surprisingly intimidating. And super disturbing.

So, yeah, nobody likes giant inflatable things of any kind in the yard. Although moon bounces are always fun. Always.

Come to think of it, you could totally make a moon bounce Christmasy.
Tinsel. Mistletoe. Lights. Well, maybe not lights. Or lights but also lots of fire extinguishers. With tinsel.

And plastic reindeer. Ones that shoot flames at you if you don't bring the proper moon bounce admission fee.
It's not free, people. I don't like you all that much.

This could be the best Christmas idea ever.
Screw you bastards! That 50 bucks is mine!

And just try and sabotage my prize winning moonbounce.
Flame shooting reindeer, people. Flame shooting reindeer.