Thursday, July 19, 2012

It's too hot to be subtle.

So, the new neighbors are all moved in and apparently they also have a pool.  This means MB and I now have to watch people frolicking in the cool, cool water on both sides of our house while we sit and sweat together, crying into our lukewarm beers, wishing our fish pond wasn't so damn small.  And green. 

I've already blown it with the neighbors on the other side and their pool.   

Atticus jumped the fence one day and and decided to run around their yard.  After many failed attempts at calling him back in the yard, I had to jump the fence too.  I spent the next 45 minutes running circles around their pool in my ratty pajamas and no bra, with a Frosty Paw in one hand and a leash in the other chasing a puppy who doesn't respect my authority.  I was using my sweetest voice to try and tempt Atticus back into the yard while trying to figure out how to pounce on him and drag him back home without anyone calling Animal Cops. 

Surprisingly, I never recieved my invitation to their pool party. 

I haven't had a chance to redeem myself with them either because Atticus has jumped the fence into their yard repeatedly since then. 

I've considered throwing his ball into their pool so he'll go in after it and then I have to go in and 'rescue' him.  I reconsidered after playing that one out in my head. 

It would likely end with Atticus knocking down the pool and sending a wave of water out into the park, knocking over the porta potty and everything in it's path.  The dog and I would end up covered in shit and chlorine, trying to dislodge empty beer bottles from very uncomfortable places. 

Did I mention that our park is pretty trashy? 

Yeah.  So, the ball plan is out.  Since I haven't come up with anything better yet, I've just given up on their pool.

I'm thinking that I may have a chance with the new neighbors though since they haven't seen me try to wrangle a disobedient puppy while also trying to discreetly wrangle my unrestrained boobs.  Also, their pool is not in the direct path of the porta potty, which bodes well for my bottle free butt.

My plan is to knock on their door with a welcome basket.  Of course I'll be wearing my bathing suit and swim goggles. 

Summer is almost over.  I don't have time to play games with these people. 

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