Saturday, April 24, 2010

Mariachi dreams, mutilated puppy feet and bargain dessert.

Hey there, peeps.
I'm back and I'm migraine free!
Thanks for all the well wishes. Much appreciated. For those of you who commented that you suffer from The Beast also, I'm so sorry. I feel for anyone who has to battle The Beast. Anytime you need to commiserate, I'm your woman.
Anyway, on to happier things.
I had a pretty interesting week.
Wanna hear about it?
Awesome. I thought you might.
Let's start with the peeing.
So, I'm standing in my yard on Wednesday afternoon watching the pup run around and listening to the neighborhood boys playing football on the other side of the fence. For some reason, they enjoy playing ball right behind my privacy fence. There is an entire park that expands out to the right of my house and around, complete with plenty of open space as well as a tennis court, soccer field, basketball court and softball field. But, nooooo. They have to play right behind my house and my fence where they are conveniently heard but not seen by myself and their parents.
Anyhooligans, on this particular day, they were playing football and completely overusing the eff word. I guess they think it's cool.
So, one boy stands to the side of my fence and decides to pee. As I'm watching.
My response: "You have got to be kidding me!"
His response: "Oh sh*t!"
He then zips up rather quickly and returns to the game, somewhat embarrassed but not nearly enough for my taste. I can only assume I was the bitch they were then referring to.
They are so lucky our hose is crap or they would've been watered to within an inch of their little lives.
What else happened?
I got to play with puppies. 3 day old Chocolate Lab puppies.
All together now: Awwwwww.
Yep. Adorable.
MB was super afraid to let me go see the litter which belonged to a friend's mother in law. He was convinced I would not be able to control myself.
Let me tell you, it was difficult. I love puppies.
I so wanted to stick a couple of them in my purse and run like hell. Especially when the owner asked our one friend if he would trim the dew claws for her. If you don't know what that is, it's the little claw on the side of the leg just above their little feet. Apparently, some people remove those.
Imagine a little tiny 3 day old puppy foot. Now imagine taking that little tiny precious puppy foot and hacking off part of it. Barbaric!
When she started asking if we knew anyone that would do it because she didn't want to pay the vet the $23 per puppy to have him do it, I grimaced.
She will forever be known as Cruella to me now.
I didn't steal any puppies, but I really wanted to.
Oh well, what else?
MB and I took the pup hiking today. That was super fun.
We were only out of breath for a little bit. That's good considering we haven't hiked the trails since last year. Our goal is to hike at least once a week and to go backpacking. We might even join a local hiking club.
He also wants us to go camping. Like real camping. The kind where you carry everything in your backpack, hike in and camp and hike back out. Provided you are not lost and then hunted by a pack of cannibalistic inbred serial killers who want you for an afternoon snack. I've seen way too many crappy horror movies to feel good about this plan.
I am very excited about our future camping trip though. Mostly because MB got a really nice hiking backpack with all these cool compartments and pockets. In my head, I'm already planning out where to put all of our stuff. Don't tell MB, but I may have already started making lists, too.
I know, I have a sickness.
Here are some other highlights of my week:
-I found out that the cat hoarder is getting annoyed with his own cats and wants to take them to the shelter. It's about damn time.
-I also found out that the neighbor we like may or may not have intentionally fed the cats rat poison. (shudder)
-MB fired up the smoker and made bacon wrapped chicken. Bacon wrapped chicken. As much as I love it, I actually haven't had any yet. Restraint is a wonderful thing.
-I did not punch my super crazy and delusional coworker in the face this week. That's all I'm going to say about that.
-I got a pair of really nice flip flops for $4.98. They are normally $30 and up.
-Dairy Queen, which is right across the street, is having a sale on blizzards. Buy one, get one for 25 cents. I have not been there every day. Impressive, right?
-I discovered dried cantaloupe. It's delish. You should really try it.
That's about all I've been up to.
Hope you guys are having wonderful weekends.
I hope your neighbors are not blasting mariachi music at 11:30pm. Did I mention that's what my neighbors are doing?
If I don't decide to go over there and smash their stereo, I will be letting the thumping of the bass lull me to an angry sleep.
Good night all.

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